Losing It

Emotions, out of control. Unable to contain anything, unable to hide anything, unable to hold herself together, unable to maintain perfection. Mentally she screams as she feels like she's losing her grip on reality, out of control wanting nothing more than the silence of forever but afraid to be alone, afraid to be with herself for any period of time. Hating herself more and more each day because of the monster she feels she is unable to stop herself from becoming.
  Day to day life becomes difficult for her to handle, the smallest of things become practically unbearable. The people around her,the people who love her, she pushes them away, trying to save them from the monster she's becoming. Pushing them away with no avail, only hurting herself, leaving herself bleeding, hurting and devestatingly alone. She knows sooner or later that she will achieve her goal: saving everyone from her...even if she destroys herself trying.
 Alone, alone in her mind, where she has nothing but time, she escapes into a world where everything is perfect, or as close to perfect as she can get. Things are how they used to be, smiling and warm the sun shinning not dreary and cloudy all the time. Her mind, gone from bright and cheery to nothing but dark and anger, despite trying to fix things, she runs out of reasons so smile, she looks around and she sees one million reasons to smile but it takes her too much energy, too much energy to really smile let alone fake a smile to please everyone. Finally she comes to a realization, it's going. Her light, the light from her very being it's going dim and it's going out. And then suddenly she realizes something....she's Losing It