Better Days

  Gazing out the window at the gray, rain-soaked day she thought of better days, when it seemed heart-break and dreary days didn't rule her life. She clutched her chest at the thought of those better days, it felt like her heart was literally breaking. 
  Soon, her mother was calling her name; she had a visitor. She peeled herself out of bed and pulled on a pair of huge sweatpants on over her boy-shorts and shuffled the stairs stopping on the landing to adjust her pants before taking the last two steps into the sunken living room and spotted who the guest was. It was Him.
  "What are you doing here?" she asked, both shocked and angry. The turning to her mother she looked more visibly angry. "Even worse. Why did you let him in?"
  "I don't know, he seemed sincere, he almost started crying and he begged me to let him see you. He pulled on every single one of my heart strings so i let him in." she looked sorry.
  "I'm sorry I snapped at you momma," she hugged her. "Can we have some time alone?" she gestured toward him and rolled her eyes.
  "Yes, I'll give you some time. By the way, your brother will be home in twenty minutes so if you need someone to help out call him and he will be home in five." she hugged her daughter and kissed her forehead. "I'm going shopping and to diner with some girlfriends from high school, daddy will be home later and diner is in the oven already." she left closing the door behind her.
  "Fine, if you feel like you need to waste my time follow me to the kitchen I have stuff to do." she walked away without waiting for an answer.
  He followed like a sick puppy. "You are so gorgeous, especially when you walk."
  "What exactly do you want Danny?" Ali asked feeling very angry and having the urge to hit him really bad. "I have never been more upset and angry Danny! Honestly I could kill you and feel no remorse." 
  "You would totally feel remorse." Danny flitted him long brown eyelashes at her.
  "No, honestly i totally wouldn't." she paused and added, "I promise."
  "Alright, you asked me what I was here for and here it is." he paused and took a deep breath. "I am here to apologize, I want you to take me back."  he got really quiet and close to her so he was resting his hands on her hips as he stood behind her while she mixed some fresh cookie dough. "This sounds cliche I know but, I want you to want to be with me."
  "Dan, you need to back up and off of me." she stopped stirring and stood scarily still.
  "Why, I can tell you like it." he stood closer to her bringing her pressing against him.
  "Seriously, back the hell up." she relaxed as he let go of her. "And no, i don't want you back, and I really don't want you in my house."
  "Please." he practically begged her. "I won't cheat again, I will be there for you and be there when you need me." she stopped picking up her hands in his. "I promise I will be better, when I was with you everything was good and amazing and beautiful! Those days were better days."
  A new found angry ran through her body. "First of all, I didn't know you cheated!" she paused and breathed, watching the new expression that ran across his face. "Second, You broke up with me, remember? Through a text message!" Ali now didn't even attempt to control her voice.
  Suddenly, the front door opened and her brother walked in the house and directly into the kitchen and stood as he watched his little sister loose it.
  "Alright, I will make you a deal. You get the hell out of my house right now and I won't sick my brother-who happens to be standing directly behind you- and his soccer friends on you."
  He stood speechless just starring at her. "Baby, please."
  "Don't!" she yelled, now crying causing her voice to crack and him to step closer. "Get away from me. I am not kidding. Get. Out. Of. My. House! You can take your broken promises and shove them where the sun don't shine and oh, don't let the door hit you on the way out."
  He looked at her and blinked then slowly turned to leave sheepishly passed her brother who spoke for the first time. Her brother took his should in one hand and shoved him against the wall getting close to his face, and sounding so fierce even Ali was scared. "I swear, if you come back to this house or talk to her during school or do anything other then holding the door for her and you break her heart a third time I will find you and I will kill you."
 With that he let go of his shoulder and walked over to his little sister taking her into his arms as she clutched her shirt, soaked his shirt with her tears, and cried over this boy for a second time as she watched Danny and his empty promises of better days walk out the door.

Contrasts

  So there this girl, she is supposed to be a friend, yet she doesn't act that way. She says she'll be there no matter what, she says 'anyone messes with you they will have to deal with me.' but when you need her she isn't there for you. When you need to talk or need someone there for you she magically disappears or she's too busy, he phone died or she didn't hear it ring, but beneath all the excuses you know you don't matter to her.
  A boy who said he wanted to be your special someone, the one who made you smile and caused you to laugh. He calls you beautiful and tells you that you're special.  But one day after constant communication the communication stops out of the blue, not more talking, he no longer makes you smile, you figure you should be crushed, you should care and you should feel used but...you don't. You could care less because you realize there's someone else. Someone who matters.
  A different girl, different in every way. She cares and loves and wants to help. When no one can help or make you smile, she can do it. Caring and there for you like no other, she'd kill to keep you protected no questions asked.
  Yet another boy, a tall, shy kind boy. He shyly catches a glimpse of you, just to see what you're doing, to watch you silently, not sneaky but silent just to see you smile. The boy would never hurt you intentionally because he loves your smile.
  So, you see these are the contrasts that everyone faces day to day. Some people just notice it more then others. 

Disguises

  Each and every one of you have your disguises. Some people disguise as a friend or even an enemy but we all wear them. A mask of sorts; hiding out true feelings and emotions.
  A girl, disguised as someone confident. Someone who doesn't care what other thinks, someone who doesn't bother trying to impress everyone around her. Under the disguise is a young girl who is scared of what others think about her, scared she is being lied to about what people say and think. She walked the halls with confidence and doesn't falter, in public where people can see. Yet int eh confines of her own home she is different: exciting, loving...herself.
  Even in the presence of her family she isn't the same, she puts up her 'school disguise', but when she is around him she is herself. She is smiling, shining, and...herself. He brings out the best in her, making her smile so intense and brightly that the sun is jealous. Nothing competes with the feeling she has when he is around.
  So, which one is this girl, what is she really? Is she the confident, showy, flashy girl or is she the slightly scared, but loving and happy girl? I ask myself often who is this girl? Who am I really? Who am I without my disguise? 

Forver and Always and Eternity My Love

  She gazed upon the scene with tears in her eyes. They were tears of both joy and pain, she was at a wedding for a young man named Dmitri, he was her best friend and the love of her life. She was watching him marry a girl she had never met, she knew nothing about her, she couldn't see her face and didn't even know her name. As she sat and watched the service she suddenly felt a jolt and found herself just waking up and in bed. The entire ordeal had been a horrible nightmare. She smiled as she gazed across the castle style bedroom she was staying in for the wedding and she stared at her dress. 
  When the time arrived and it came time to stand at the church doors with her father she was smiling uncontrollably beneath her veil, 'this is it.' she thought. 'My new life as his love and wife begins momentarily.' she walked down the isle with her father and he handed her to her lover, husband, caregiver, and protector.
  The pastor married them and said the words she had been longing to hear for almost a year: 'till death do you part, as long as you both shall live' and her favorite 'you may now kiss Your bride.' he lifted her veil and softly but passionately kissed her.
  "You're mine. Forever and Always and Eternity My Love." he whispered as they walked down the isle to the limo taking them to the reception party. His breath was all that was left to the sentence that was ringing in her mind throughout the entire party, their honeymoon, and the rest of the seventy-three years they spent together.
  "You're mine. Forever and Always and Eternity My Love."

Her Time

  They knew it was coming, they also new they couldn't do anything about it. Their little girl, sister, and one love had been taken away, taking chunks of their hearts, soul, and lives with her. 
  When it first happened, when the cancer took her, her mother was in shock, and disbelief unable to cry. She wanted to sob into her husbands arms and follow their daughter into Her Heaven.
  Her father, on the other hand, was unable to contain himself standing in his daughter's room watching her as she lay in her bed, not breathing, unmoving. He screamed out in anguish, she had such a magnificent life ahead of her: Love, marriage, children, and not in eighteen years-the blink of an eye-she was gone. Her father sat on the edge of his daughter's bed, holding her crying into her hair until the morticians got there to take her away from him.
  Her boyfriend got the phone call as he was driving to see her. He pulled to the side of the road and pumped his stereo so passersby couldn't hears his cries of pain. Six years he had loved her and known she was The One, and now she was gone. He took the small wrapped box out of his jacket pocket and held the ring between his fingers and stared down at the future he had hoped to have with the beautiful creature God had created and was now taken away from him and everyone else who loved her.
  Her brother was away when he received the news. His heart broke when he learned his little sister and hero was gone. He came home as soon as he could, reaching their home the afternoon they lost her.
  Eight days later at her service the entire neighborhood was surrounding the family to show their love for her and the pain every single person there felt for the family. The day was supposed to be a beautifully weathered spring day-her favorite weather-but the day had started off horrifyingly terrible. Suddenly, her mothers eyes began to tear with the pain and emotions she had not been able to shed until they placed her baby in the ground and had placed her favorite flower before her heart shaped headstone. 
  Everyone who had wanted to say their parting words did so, when they all heard a plane that broke the deafening silence. When the plane was heard a small patch of sky opened revealing a glorious ray of sun that began dancing over the funeral party. Then the plane flew directly over the, causing them to look up, behind the plane there was a banner advertising a spa called 'Her Heaven'; this brought smiles and tears to the faces and eyes of her mother, father, brother, and boyfriend. It was her final reminder that she would be fine, that she loved them and missed them but, her Lord missed her more and called her home to where he had plans beyond their wildest imaginations and abilities, and above all he had Her Heaven waiting.

Her Heaven

 "No. No. No!" The beautiful young girl yelled. "This cannot be happening!" She clutched her mother and father as she screamed through her tears. Her boyfriend and brother stood talking in hushed tones, wearing worried expressions  and looks of misplaced emotion on their faces, unable to take it all in, yet not quiet enough to produce tears.

 Her fathers thoughts: My perfect little girl, why her? Why?

 Her mother's thoughts: My gorgeous baby, not her. Please Lord, not her!

 Her brother's pain: No, not her, please don't take away my hero. Don't take my hero.

 Her boyfriends heartache: Not her. Not my perfect, gorgeous, amazing girl; my oxygen. Who will i spend the rest of my life with?

 Finally she spoke: "I can't do this. I need to be alone." She left the family room without waiting for an answer, her entire head was in a fog as she left her mother, father, brother, boyfriend, and doctor in an iron curtain of agony. she fled to the family library, inhaling her idea of heaven; she took her place amongst the shelves of books on the wall bench against the wall of glass overlooking the lush forest and trickling spring. Resting her head against the wall she slowly drifted into a dream world, a world like no other. Her world.  Suddenly, she found herself in front of a cottage surrounded by streams of living, running, water.

  The door opened on its own, silently showing the comforting  interior of the small two floor cottage. Sh stepped inside, looking hesitantly around the beautiful, peaceful, rustic cottage cottage area that contained a small kitchen, dining, and living room area with two chairs and a couch.

  She followed the hallway to a set of narrow stairs that looked as though they were made almost entirely for her.  At the top of the stairs the hallway split in two directions: to the right, a small bedroom waited. the room was simple and beautiful with a simple bed and a night stand, near the wall was a cluster of window that made the entire wall look like sure glass; built in the wall was a cushioned bench, much like the one back home in her library. Also in the room was a small closet and a powder room with a sink, toilet, and claw foot tub. To the left of the stairs was a larger room which turned out to be a library which was filled with what looked like a million shelves. Every shelf was filled with so many books thee was no breathing room for anymore to fit. 

  she left the cottage following the soft, captivating music that sounded like the chorus of a thousand angels, following the music to the side of the house led her to a garden; a garden filled with a thousand colors of her favorite flower. Climbing Roses. the roses surrounded two chairs. The garden was in the middle of a vast, extravagant, green yard, it was closer to a small singing stream. Bringing her attention to the chairs she noticed one was occupied, the second beckoned, called, and mesmerized her. 

  She sat in the chair, glancing at the man in the chair beside her, he was glorious, beautiful, and...perfect. The man took her hand and his, enveloping the entire thing and spoke to her. "Do not fear, my child, you shall soon be with me."

  Then it hit her like a thousand pounds, like a brick. Like the news that her cancer was lethal, this place, this oasis was heaven. Her Heaven. Once the realization sunk in she couldn't stop the smile slowly spreading across her face. Once she knew that she would be in this perfect, peaceful, unblemished, unadulterated,, unbroken, place and it was Her Heaven she slowly began to wake. 

  She rose from her place in the library, repining her family, boyfriend, and doctor. She hugged her parents, brother, and boyfriend. "Don't worry about me, He is there, waiting. And he has abundant plans for me."