Untitled, unknown, and incomplete.

Just a blip of the new piece i'm writing.

' As the sun set over the harbor he sat there watching the sea wink at him through the last remaining rays of the sun. The weather was still on the warmer side, while the sun was up at least; when the sun set and the evening set in it began bringing along not only a new variety of wild life and humans but also cooler weather.

        Gavin sat on the edge of the dock, legs hanging off the end, with his freshly brewed coffee in his hands and his country music pouring from his headphones. Losing himself in the music and the sea was how he collected himself, kept himself calm and smooth; free of any wrinkles or stresses. As he sat there he could feel himself growing warmer, despite the chilling breeze coming off of the harbor in front of him. From his very core he was becoming warmer, lighter almost as he closed his eyes and saw the memories flashing in front of him, bringing an involuntary smile to his face. Finally, he let the feeling of bliss overtake him as he set his coffee on the deck next to him as he fell backward crossing his arms behind him. Before relaxing entirely however, he cranked up his music, took another long sip of his coffee and buttoned his jacket, allowing himself to lay back and the memories to overtake him. '

Barricade

Walls up, doors locked, windows nailed shut. She prepares herself for the storm. She prepares herself to take all that is coming her way, trying to knocked her down, take her joy...her reason for living. She's got her barricade up and ready to go, if she lets no one inside then she doesn't have the opportunity to get hurt, she doesn't have the option to let anyone in and tell her that she's wrong in her thinking and they way she loves who she does is wrong. The barricade protects against it all. Until one day.
 One day she sees the sun, moving around the outside of her walls, knocking on her doors and peaking it's head in through the windows wanting her to let him in. Politely he speaks to her as she removes the nails from the windows, as she's letting her barricade down bit by bit she allows herself to open up to the sun and his tempting ways. 
 Removing the nails from the windows, unlocking doors, taking down boards that held up the walls, little by little giving him more room in her life until there was no more darkness left in her. Until there was nothing but light and soul and summer. The winter that had held her bones for so long was melting away with his every glance to her pale, fragile, cold body.
 Day by day she is becoming stronger, she's speaking her mind, she's going out and doing things. Her body is becoming warmer and warmer, collecting more color until the sun had taken her over and engulfed her altogether and she wanted nothing but his light. Nothing but the smell of summer dancing through her nose and the warmth of the suns rays kissing her skin. 
 Laying down to sleep the sun says "I love you little one, with the right timing this can last for eternity." With one last kiss to her golden forehead he said goodnight, and as she closed her eyes she saw the sun getting smaller and smaller until she saw nothing but darkness. 
 When she awoke she was alone, she was still warm, her skin was still glowing and she was still strong but her soul was lacking. In the evening when the sun left her in her slumber he took his soul with him along with his everlasting light, leaving her desiring more, and never finding it. 
 Although the sun loved her for a time his light and warmth was not enough to  sustain the need her soul had for him. Even though the sun left his warm for her, as his gift to her for eternity without him by her side she slowly, day by day began building up her walls again. To keep the warmth and light he had given her from going out, she replaced the nails in her windows, locked up  her doors and laid the last board against her barricade.

Locks and Keys

Walking down the street, holding it close to her chest, making sure that no one else sees it. Making sure no one else notices what shes carry, carries almost as though it held her very life. Every corner she turns shes afraid, afraid that someone will take it, that they'll be able to get to her inner most feelings and thoughts and that they will be able to get the key. The key that goes to the lock that she wears on her at all times, protecting herself. Not letting herself feel or experience anything, not allowing herself to live freely without the worry and pain of the fear of someone getting her key, someone being able to unlock her, to be able to control her.
 She walks down the path with her mask on tight and her key in her pocket and her lock inside of her. Unable to live day to day life without checking and double checking that her lock is in the right place and that no one will be able to get a hold of it. Protecting it with her very life. 
 As she turns the corner she bumps into someone, he smiles and she returns the favor as she tries to walk around him. He stops her and tells her that he apologizes for being so forward but he thinks that she's beautiful. She thanks him as her cheeks get red as she tried to talk around him again, but he stops her one more time, he apologizes again for delaying her and being so forward but asks if he could see her again.
  She blushes, and apologizes and says no she's sorry she can't. As she's speaking she feels her chest constricting almost as though it was telling her to go ahead and say yes, do it see him again. She falters and stutters and finally agrees, she say's yes to seeing him again. He smiles and gives her his numbers, asks her to call him later, says he can't wait to see her again, to get to know her. She smiles back, saying to herself that she wasn't actually going to call him but at least she got him to leave her alone.
 As she turned the corner she let go, her hand loosened on her chest, she key seemed lighter, and one of her walls got loose. She found herself smiling about the cute boy that called her beautiful. For a moment, just a small moment her heart told her to calm down, smile and let this happen. Let him perhaps take a hold her the key and the lock and let him scale the walls for just a little while, trust him for a while and maybe, just maybe he would be able to keep it. 

Beauty Part 1

Beauty: Some say it’s in the eye of the beholder. What is you thought someone was so beautiful you couldn’t live without them. Whether they wanted you or not you had to find some way to be with them or keep them with you otherwise you would never survive. It didn’t matter how beautiful they were on the outside or on the inside all you knew was that you wanted them, needed them, couldn’t survive without them.

  He found his person, walking through the mall he saw Her. She was beautiful with long blonde hair, green eyes, curvy physical appearance and he wanted her, needed her, couldn’t live without her.  He changed the area of the mall he was shopping in and decided to follow her. Decided that she was what he needed to go on with his life, whether he brought her willingly or not she was going to be his sooner or later. Following her from store to store, she was too busy chatting and gossiping with her friends to notice he was following her, taking note of the things that she liked, the things she didn’t like, the way she dressed , the way she acted, the way she moved and the type of guys that caught her attention. With every male that earned a second glance from her his jealousy, and rage overtook him, he felt like he was unable to stop himself from checking them off on a list, each of them had been instantaneously placed on a list a list of things he was going to do to them so they would never be looked at with eyes of attraction or affection again, from anyone specifically, his mate.

 Finally he began closing in and getting closer to her, entering a store from the opposite direction he made his way toward her, lightly bumping off of her simply so he could say ‘Oh, I apologize! You look mouthwatering.’ He said to her quietly, smiling. Taken aback by his abruptness she returned the favor. ‘Thank you, I am so sorry but do I know you?’ she asked, letting her face take on the emotion of guilt on not remember his name.  As he words left her mouth, he smiled allowing her to see all the teeth in his mouth, sharped to a point that looked like it could slice open flesh with ease, and a glimpse of the word written on the inner area of his lips: Thirst.

 ‘Oh no my dear,’ he got closer to her and whispered in her ear. ‘but you will soon. Very soon.’

 With that he walked away, leaving her speechless and shaking in the store with her friends.

On the outside of the mall he quietly watched her and her friends walk to their cars. Laughing, and joking but her body language had changed it was short and kept close to her not letting much in. As her friends dispersed she struggled to find her keys in her large purse, he found his opportunity, it was getting dark and there was no one around now that her friends had driven away. He walked up to assist her in finding her keys. ‘allow me to help with that.’ He said as he walked out from his space in the shadows, as he brought his hands from behind his back he not only produced a set of silver chains but a lot a white cloth  in which he pressed her against the car and held against her face.

  While he was holding her down she was struggling against him, managing to move her knee up so that she could kick him in the groin. He staggered back, catching his breath, she continued to stuggle finding her keys  when he was able to right himself and go at her. ‘bitch.’ He muttered while he again held the while cloth to her face and smashed her head against the light post to make sure she wouldn’t stuggle again. The final thing she remember was looking up at his face while the edges of her vision went fuzzy and then all went black.

Crimson

He ran, he ran without stopping and without trying to catch his breath, he was running for his life, or for the life of another. He hadn’t figured out which it was yet, to save himself? Or to save her?

Crimson. The only color he could see, the only color he could feel, he could feel it all over his hands, and up his arms, feel it soaking through his clothes, settling onto his skin, warm and sticky. Was it his or was it someone else’s? Where had it come from, and why was he covered in it? Running, still running, crying, sobbing, and aching. His legs begged him to stop, the muscles screaming, and gasping. He was almost there, almost into the woods and away from everyone, away from the crimson and away from the screams.

Finally, the woods looming ahead of him, almost welcoming him into their cold, snowy, dark and safe embrace. Promising to keep him away from those he would hurt, away from anyone he could touch; promising to hold him back from whatever monster he had become. Leaping, bounding, dodging, and running through the branches, cutting his bare arms and face, causing more crimson.

He heard the shouting and screaming. He saw small spots of light, rushing toward him; dogs barking daring him to move farther into the dark shelter of the woods, to give them more of a challenge to find him. Defeated, he collapsed into the snow, letting the pain in his muscles take over, giving over to the pain and letting the crimson take him, laying there waiting for them to find him and take him away. Away to his death, or to be tortured, he didn’t know, but whatever it was, it had to be better than the running. Better than the Crimson.

Cracks

Always there, always strong for friends, always caring for them. Always, always, always.  Constantly wanting others to be happy, trying and failing to hide her emotions, wearing her heart on her sleeve. Day by day becoming hard to hide them. Cracking.
 She finds a cracks and she seals it, she closes it up so it the emotions can't get out they can't be shown to others, to the important ones she shares some and hides others. More and more they are starting to seep through. Cracking. The cracks becoming bigger, unable to hide it, unable to cap that emotion, unable to keep them under control.
 More and more wild, emotions varying more, ups and downs that would make the strongest of storms run. One moment on top of the world and the next falling through empty space never knowing when shes going to be able to stop. Cracks.
  Her friends, she thinks of her friends as she sits crying, sits alone in the dark willing herself to stop crying, begging herself to get it under control. How can she be doing this? How can these emotions be running her? How will she be there with her friends, the one they go to when they need a hug or to talk,to smile to recover from heart break to plan their next move. The one they expect to be strong for them, how are they suppose to depend on her when she can't seal the gaps, fix the bruises and hurts, filling the cracks. How can her friends depend on her when she's the one who is at her weakest unknowing what to do, not knowing where to turn who to go to, what to say other than to break. To finally let the cracks break and all the emotions out, flowing at once. Sobbing out, every single emotion running through the cracks that she was unable to keep closed. The cracks she failed to heal the ones she couldn't close together.
  Then once again she found something new, a new fill something she was able to keep the cracks closed with and she's strong again she's able to help she's herself once again and no one will know about the moment of weakness, no one will guess that she was unable to control her emotions and no one will ever know that she isn't as strong as she lets everyone believe she is. But everyone once in a while it happens again and they begin to break and then everything ends. And she Cracks.

Letting Go

Heart pounding, shallow breath, complete and utter dissapointment...feelings she feels on a regular basis. When he's around she cannot keep her heart in her chest, she cannot catch her breath as quickly as it leaves her...When he's not around, their plans fall through, she misses him so much her heart aches, it hurts to breathe, and yet again she is dissapointed, missing him, hating herself for wanting him around so badly. When he is around her world is clear, she can see things clearly, her mind isn't a mess anymore; she's able to be herself. No masks, no acts, nothing fake, just her...the real her.
 She loves the way she feels when he is around but she hates the way she feels when he is gone...her 'best friend' that's all they are, in her mind and very core they are more, in his eyes they are more but he won't admit it. He's staying with 'best friends' because it's safer than the possibilty of being hurt, more secure because he thinks he will never lose her, there's security in her relationship. But with every look from him her knees become weaker, every touch sends her body buzzing, every hug she wants more than friendship, she hungers for more than this. "I love you...you are like my world" he says. Those words penetrate her heart so deeply he has no knowing of the damage he has just done. Does he care? No, he doesn't because she's staying put due to the fact that she's is 'best friend'. He blows her off, puts their plans on the back burner...she thinks to herself 'He believes because I'm his best friend that he can act like this...let's see how long I stick around."
 She tells herself that she's leaving next time it happens, that next time it doesn't matter how much she loves him she's leaving and not looking back. Not turning around when he calls after her and not looking back and wanting to help him fix things like she normally does she's done. She is leaving and that's that. In reality, in her heart she knows that she won't she knows that she won't let him go. She knows that she can't bear to leave even if staying destroys her because leave and Letting Go would kill her.